More Kameokan than the Kameokans

J: "Is this your first time riding the Hozu River boat ride?"
Me: "No, it's actually my 4th."
J: "Really? I have lived here my whole life and it's my first time."
Me: "Yeah, I've only been here a year."

Today we took the Germans on a tour of Kameoka and some of Kyoto. I feel kind of bad for them actually. All they really got was the Hozu River ride, the Movie Village, and the Romantic Train. We never took them into Kyoto to see the beautiful sights it has, like Kiyomizu Temple, Gion, Ginkakuji, etc. I mean they are a bit cliche and I have seen them several times, but for newcomers to Japan they are worth seeing.

I was picked up by a bus in front of city hall at 8:20 and we went to pick up the Germans at the guest house. Benjamin plays kayak polo so he was really excited to get on the water. I didn't want to disappoint him by telling him he would only be sitting in the boat and not actually doing anything.

While waiting for our boat I stood around talking to either the Japanese or the Germans depending on who was around at the time. It was about this time that I realized how amazing this program really is and why it was a good thing I was there. It really seemed like cultural exchange, for several reasons.

1. My addition to the group provided a contrast to the Germans for the Japanese. The Japanese could look at me and compare me to the Germans to get an idea of the differences between our cultures. After all, not all white people are the same.

2. I was able to give a good image of Americans to the Germans. Not all Americans fit the stereotype of being fat and ignorant. They did make comments about food portions in America and how fat we are in general. Also, although I was making them speak a foreign language to me, they were able to see me speaking a language other than English. After I ordered for them at lunch today Simona turned to me and said "It's so weird because you look like us but then when you speak you sound like them."

3. They were able to teach me about Germany and I taught them about America. We discussed slang in English as well. I learned a lot about being a non-native speaker of a language from them. They were much better about asking for clarification when they did not understand something. I tend to just try to piece it together on my own. But if a word they didn't know came up, they would ask me to define it, which was good practice for me, trying to describe English words. They had been listening to the song "I Love College" and were confused by the use of "Chug! Chug! Chug!" They guessed that it meant "clap" but I explained that it means "Drink! Drink! Drink!"

I ended up sitting between Simona and Yamaguchi-san, a young member of the Kameoka Youth Sports Association. He didn't really talk much, but I find that that is fairly normal for Japanese people. It takes them a while to open up. But we laughed a lot when he got soaked from one of the waves.

Benjamin got a chance to row the boat for a little while which seemed to make him happy.



After the ride we walked up to the train station to head over to the Movie Village. I had been there once before with Atsushi and it was, I'm not going to lie, pretty boring. I'm not sure why they decided to take them there. But we were met by Mr. Fujita, who used to work there. Now, Mr. Fujita is this guy who comes to all the Global Sessions and speaks English with me. He LOVES speaking English. Loves it. And he takes every chance he can to speak it. Now this is not a bad thing. In fact it is a very very good thing. Except that German people speak German (who'd a thunk it?).

So he shows up to give them a tour in broken English. Which for a native speaker is ok. We can handle that. But for non-native speakers, it is really hard to follow. So I kept having to translate Fujita-san's English, into English. I understand that the point of these programs is international exchange, but if you have a professional translator, you should USE her. Fujita-san speaks Japanese fluently and the translator is trained to translate into German. So do that. Don't force them to deal with English, when not all of them ACTUALLY speak it. Some of them are very good, yes, but not all of them.

My little rant. I was quite grateful to actually feel useful but still. It bothered me that the Japanese assume that everyone who is white naturally speaks English fluently.

The Movie Village was pretty boring. I helped them buy some souvenirs with Kanji written on them. Katarina and Steffen, who are dating, both got a bracelet with the others name on it.




After the Movie Village we took the Romantic Train back to Kameoka. It is a HUGE attraction in the area...but I don't really understand why. This was the first time I rode it and I was not impressed. First of all, it is really loud. It is a locomotive train so it is just really noisy. Second of all, you spend half your time in tunnels so you can't see anything. Third of all, the scenery isn't really that much different than the regular JR train so it doesn't make much of a difference.

The best part of the train ride was the 3 kids I made friends with. I know I complain a lot about standing out and how I get treated like either a celebrity or a freak here, but it is fun when kids get excited to see me. A school group was riding the same train as us and 3 of them just got so excited to see foreigners. They started yelling "Hello, Hello" and waving. I struck up a conversation with them and they just flipped. They were really fun. There is a Hummer (I know, in Japan really?) parked outside of the train station at Arashiyama where you get on the Romantic Train, and the kids were asking me all kinds of questions about it. "Do you know what that kind of car is called? Do they have them in America? Are there a lot of them? Woah, I wanna go to America!!!!" etc.



They dropped me off at the Hozu River boarding site and I headed home to get ready for my taiko performance that evening.

We walked over to Jason's so he could drive us to the shrine in Yagi where we were playing at the Obon festival. Jason got lost along the way, but I kind of miss just joyriding around in a car so I didn't mind.

The shrine was really small and there were only and handful or two of people participating in the festival, but it was really fun. It was one of our best performances. I got to meet Saito-san's other grandchildren too. They are all really cute. After the performance ended, Takaya-san's daughter came up and told us she was quitting the group to attend jyuuku (cram school).

That really depressed me. And made me even more sure that if I ever have kids I don't want to raise them here. I remember growing up and filling my evenings with various activities like sports, dance, piano lessons, etc. and they had such a huge impact on my life. I got more out of those activities than I did out of extra studying.

Afterward we all went and got some shaved ice (a must at ANY festival), where we met this really cute little girl who just LOVED talking to foreigners. She grabbed me by the hand and dragged me over to her mother screaming at the top of her lungs "Mom! Mom! Mom! Look! I have a foreigner friend!"

Being cute is their defense mechanism...it keeps me from getting annoyed.

Sometimes I wish I were born in Germany...

Today was the first day of the visit from a delegation from the German Youth Sports Association. I spent the morning at city hall working on my newsletter and getting the conference room upstairs set up for them. And by getting the conference room set up I mean that I awkwardly followed around my boss, Ito-kacho, trying to help but ended up just handing him pushpins as he put up the flags.

See, the events for this delegation were organized by the Kameoka Youth Sports Association, which works with city hall but is not a part of city hall. I was never actually introduced to the people for whom I was suddenly working and they didn't really tell me what they expected me to do. They handed me a schedule earlier in the week and asked me to show up at the right times. So I did.

So just before noon I headed over to the Chinese restaurant next to city hall, Bonne, and waited for them to arrive. I was the first one there so it was awkward for about 10-15 minutes waiting in a room alone (it's amazing how I can feel awkward in a room by myself....)

The part I was worried about was when they arrived. The Japanese had added me as part of the supporting crew for the delegation because...I'm foreign? But I speak English and Japanese. No German. I can say "thanks" and "Do you speak English" in German, and with a horrible accent I'm sure.

So when they got there I introduced myself to their translator (a young Japanese woman, actually the same age as me) and asked her if they spoke English. She said yes so I introduced myself. I felt bad for making them deal with a foreign language, but they actually said they were relieved. They have been dealing with Japanese broken English for weeks and were grateful to have a native speaker. Actually their English was incredible. A few of them sounded almost native. It made me wish I had been born in Germany so I could have that kind of language education. All of them could understand English to a certain degree, and Benjamin, Katarina, Simona, and Julian were really fluent. That's 2/3 of the group...fluent.

I talked to them a little over lunch, but for the most part let them converse in German. I didn't want to be the one forcing them to speak a foreign language. I spent most of my time talking to the Japanese people seeing as that was the language I could understand.

After lunch we went over to city hall and they had their formal meeting with the mayor. It was actually a really good experience for me to observe this type of meeting rather than act as the translator. I have no real training as a translator and so watching someone who has training translate for a group was a good learning experience. She was very good, but I learned that all translators struggle with having to instantaneously turn one language into another. I couldn't understand her German, but her Japanese was not as fluid as normal.

It was really quite awkward though because they mayor had to run off to another meeting and he didn't notice that the leader of the delegation, Petra, was trying to give him a gift. He just kept saying goodbye and then walked away, while the rest of us tried to politely cue him in.



After the meeting with the mayor we left for our scheduled events of the day. We started off at the Something Something Center where they were taught the basics of Ikebana, or flower arranging. I stepped in every once and a while to help translate but for the most part I was just watching and giving advice (though I know nothing about Ikebana). It was interesting to watch them and they all seemed to have pretty good sense. Benjamin seemed very serious about it and thought long and hard before he put anything down. Simona was mostly just concerned with making it all fit and would continually ask for advice. But they all did a really good job and they made some really beautiful arrangements.



After the Ikebana lesson we visited the Something Something shrine out in the middle of nowhere Kameoka for the tea ceremony. We all sat in a long line and the woman performed the tea ceremony for us. She did it fairly quickly, from what I remember from studying tea ceremony in college, it is a long process. Every move is full of meaning...blah blah blah. I have to admit I can't stand tea ceremony. They spend such a long time to make a cup of tea and then stare at you as you drink it...and it tastes just like the rest of the tea I drink. Apparently there is something special in the preciseness of the movements etc. but I don't really see it.








After the tea ceremony we went back to the guest house where they were all staying and unloaded their luggage. I sat downstairs chatting with Kojima-san and Fujiwara-san while the Germans relaxed upstairs and then we started the barbeque. Again it was nice to watch someone else do the translation. I asked the Germans how her German was and they said it was fairly good. She made "cute mistakes, probably like we do in English" they said.

We stood around talking about music, which seems to be a topic that can transcend culture as long as you are around the same age. I introduced them to some of my favorite bands and they had me listen to some of theirs. We talked about their impressions of Japanese culture and what I have learned here in the last year.



One of the participants in the BBQ was a college student from Kameoka who was really interested in talking to the Germans. He had them teach him some German phrases and I would translate for him when they spoke in English and I could understand. I think one of my favorite parts was when they lapsed into German and I would try to figure out what they were saying. Sometimes I kept up fairly well...but most of the time I had no idea what was going on. But they were very good about catching me up most of the time, especially Benjamin and Katarina and Simona.



Also, I haven't mentioned this yet, but Benjamin...was beautiful. I don't really know how else to describe him. Just beautiful. Nice to have something pretty to look at while you're working (^_~).



Anyway, after the BBQ I hitched a ride home with Ishida-san and pretty much crashed. It had been a 12 hour day, and even though I wasn't the main translator I did do a decent amount of translating and helping with the group.

Gay talk to taiko party

Today Matt was in town for his Global Session. He was nice enough to drive The Boy and me to the Center in the mountains so we didn’t have to take the train. I thought that was a great idea. I thought it would be far less awkward if we all went together by car than if we went by train and then got picked up by people from the Center. I was wrong.

Matt was quieter than usual and The Boy was just as quiet. So the car ride was basically me trying to fill the silence.

Then, we were there a little early so it was just the three of us sitting around waiting for others to show up. Finally Fujita-san showed up and decided to tell us all about O-bon. I just laughed because they boy is in charge of the O-bon festivities in Kameoka so we all knew all about it.

I was worried that no one was going to show up. I thought perhaps the topic was a bit too racy for them and they were not going to want to talk about it. I was so nervous it would be really awkward with just me, Matt, The Boy, and old Mr. Fujita.

It turns out everyone was just running late, though.

We had a full group and the conversation went fairly well considering it was about LGBT rights, something not really addressed in Japan. We got sidetracked some--we ended up talking about acronyms and then abortion and Downs syndrome--but it was otherwise quite interesting. We had to discuss separation of church and state and the reason why marriage in America is not simply an institution to promote procreation but that it comes with various legal rights and also is a method of commitment.

In the end I think it was a great event simply because it opened up the conversation. It was a talk that the Japanese were not necessarily prepared for.

After the Global Session, Matt drove us to the Galleria where we were giving a taiko performance for the opening ceremony of an event for the city hall. The Boy came along as well. I felt really bad because it turned out to be an event planned by my division so everyone saw him and then the participants were primarily from city hall. Plus I abandoned him to get ready. I thought Matt would keep him company but Matt spent most of his time texting.

We had to rework things a bit because the performance space was so small but we practiced once and it turned out ok. After that we went to get ready, putting on our happi coats and tabi shoes. Then we performed. They mayor was in the front row and he started laughing when he saw me. I have translated for him several times so he at least recognizes me.

The performance went really well I thought. I couldn’t see The Boy so I assumed he went and hid from the city hall people. I don’t blame him…it was a bit intense for me too.
Afterward we went to change and they told us we couldn’t leave for half an hour…(^0^)
Thankfully I knew the doorman (Fukuchi-san) and I told her The Boy was waiting for me and she snuck me and the ALTs out.

Then we went and played around taking pictures with the weird character statues on the ground floor and then went to the café restaurant. I felt kind of bad the whole time because we were all speaking English pretty quickly and The Boy didn’t really join in. I kept asking if he understood what was going on and tried to get him in on the conversation but he just didn’t quite seem comfortable.

I was getting kind of frustrated with the whole thing. We get along so well when it’s just the two of us but when he gets around my friends he gets really awkward. It was only the second time we have seen each other since I got back from the US so I guess I shouldn’t be so sensitive about it. But I don’t like that it seems like he can’t relax. But I can’t remember if it has always been like that.

After lunch Matt took us back to my place. The Boy gave back the Friends DVDs he watched while I was in the US and I offered to get him the next few. I waved him up the stairs but he was slow to follow. Me, being frustrated at feeling like a babysitter, left him behind and went into my apartment. He wasn’t following. I checked through the peephole. So I went to get the DVDs and when I came out he was outside the door. Then there was the awkward goodbye.

After that I took a nap before the farewell party for Liz with the taiko group.

At 6 o’clock, Shigeno-san and his wife came to pick us up for the party. We went to Heki-tei, which is a 300 year old home just a mile or so from where I live. The house has been in the same family since it was built and it is full of a bunch of different ancient artifacts. It is currently used as a guest house/event house.

When we got there they took us (me, Paulette, Liz, and Laurel) to a special back room and we were taught to make maki-zushi (ie. Sushi). Our teacher was actually a member of our taiko group who has a license. It’s always so cool to learn new things about the people I know. She taught us how to make sushi and then how to roll it properly. Then they gave us the little mats they use to roll the sushi up. It was really fun.



Then we set the table with the sushi we made and sat down to dinner with the rest of our group that had shown up.



It was really an awesome night. Jason came, which was cool because we haven’t seen him in a while. The food was really good. The drinks were ok (I still miss beer in America). The company was fantastic.



The kids actually started talking to me for the first time ever. We bonded over our hatred for being in pictures and bugs. They played with Laurel's hair too.



The woman who owns the house came through and showed us some of the cool artifacts in the house, like a 200 year old map of Tokyo, a flower viewing party lunch box given to her family by the last emperor of the Tokugawa Era (ie. 200 years ago and before the opening of Japan to the west), and the hilts of samurai swords.

The group gave Liz a bunch of gifts and goodbye cards, including a new yukata (summer kimono). It was really sad. Just another reminder that she was leaving.

Today I went into the mountains for the first time since getting back. I had missed those train people. Every week on Thursday I ride the same train to Chiyokawa station and get picked up to go to the Center. When I get on the train at Kameoka, some very interesting characters get off. There is one foreigner. I always want to know who he is. He isn’t always on the train… but he comes quite often and gets off at my town and I don’t know why. There are two others--two men. One is very big and tall. The other is very short and squat. And they walk together. It is the CUTEST thing ever. The little short one takes these quick little steps to keep up with the long steps of the tall guy. Sometimes though they don’t walk together and I always worry that they have had a fight.

It is something you never do when you drive to work. You don’t notice the people around you. But on a train you often begin to recognize faces and patterns. There is the running man who we use to time our walk to work. He always seems to be late so he runs. We know if we are late by where he is when we run into each other.

My newsletter group came and we edited the articles for this edition.

Kikuchi-san and I talked over lunch about my trip home and we shared different Youtube videos with each other. He and Ijiri-san then hit me with a tough question…

“What are the rules for using the word “the” ?”

They handed me a post it with the words

“Smell of rain”
“The smell of rain”
“The smell of the rain”
And asked me which were correct. Well I am not an English teacher. I can tell you which ones sound correct and the nuances between them but I cannot tell you why or how to tell grammatically when to use which. So I ended up explaining to them that the 2nd and 3rd ones were correct but would be used differently.

I would say something like “I like THE smell of rain.”
Or
“THE smell of THE rain was soothing.”

So using “the” in front of rain means just that rain, just that time. Whereas without “the” it is all rain.

Anyway, it was just an interesting conversation. It is amazing how things that I just naturally understand are so difficult to explain.

Japan never ceases to surprise me

Today I went to lunch with Koshio-san and Fukuchi-san. They are so cute. We went to the café that is just behind city hall. I have always wanted to go there but never knew what kind of place it was.

Almost immediately they started in about the boy. They asked if anything had happened or if he met me at the airport. I told them he couldn’t have because I didn’t tell him my flight information (he didn’t ask…Also I didn’t want him to meet me at the airport. I just wanted to go home. I had just traveled for nearly 20 hours…why would I want a boy I might be interested in to be there?)
I told them about the 2 new JETs coming to Kameoka and how they are a gay couple from South Africa. This launched them into a huge talk about how there are no gay couples who live together in Japan. I told them not to be silly, of course there are. They didn’t believe me. It is so strange that they can feel that way. I was watching the news this morning and there was an advertisement for a play in which two of the main characters were gay. They had a huge, and rather racy, make-out scene that they broadcast on TV. It was racy by American standards. I was shocked and it takes a lot to shock me. They had an interview with the two actors and one of them was talking about how surprised he was when his counterpart opened his mouth during the kiss. All this was on TV but there are no gay people in Japan.

Either way, I really like that I am developing stronger relationships with them at work. I like that we have little inside jokes now, etc.

After work I met Liz at the coffee house. Our café. The one she discovered so many months ago and now has become our hang-out. It is where the boy and I go to lunch every week. I love that place. The little old couple who own it always seem so happy to see us. The old man always comes out and says hello. He’s so sweet. He gives us cheese and crackers or sandwiches sometimes.

Today it started pouring just as we were leaving to go to calligraphy. Liz didn’t bring an umbrella and we both had our bikes so it was going to be a bit tough struggling to get back home under just my umbrella…and just as we were leaving the old Kunitteru man comes running out with an umbrella for Liz. He saw her without one and lent her one of his. He just told us to bring it back next time we come.

How sweet is that? I don’t want to say that you don’t get that kind of service in America…but you really don’t. Not just anywhere.

Calligraphy was great tonight. I mean, really just amazing. It was Liz’s last night and when we first got there no one was there. Eventually Nakazawa (ie. Friend Crush #1) showed up. I have NEVER heard him talk so much in the 10 or so months I have been going to calligraphy lessons. He was sitting next to me and I finally remembered to bring Nanami the dorian candy from Thailand and she shared it with him. So we were all exclaiming about how bad it smells and talking about what it tastes like. He was asking me about America and I gave him a Rice Krispies Treat. He would join in our conversations and he has never really done that before. I was so excited. Except jet lag made me sleepy soon after.

It was just a really carefree fun night. Sensei was hilarious as usual. Though apparently I missed her moonwalk impression after Michael Jackson died. (T_T)

Hi ho Hi ho It's off to work I go

Today was my first day back at work. It was the first time I really had to use Japanese in 2 weeks. I left with a headache. But it was nice to get back into the routine. It was nice to have things to do and remember why I am here. It was nice to see my coworkers and have them be excited to see me.

I had lunch with the boy. It was the first time I had seen him since the night before I left. He asked me to go to dinner last Sunday but I had the farewell party with Liz so I couldn’t and I didn’t want to overwhelm him so I didn’t invite him.

Lunch was--fun but a bit awkward. It was pouring rain so we gave up on going to our usual café which is a bit of a walk and actually went someplace close by city hall. (^0^)!!!!

It was good to talk to him again, but he’s a quiet person so the bulk of conversation came from me. Laurel and Kim-chi ended up at the same restaurant and the boy offered to invite them to join us but I said no. I figured it would be better to keep it just the two of us. So I told him about my trip home. He laughed at me when I told him I cried when I heard the national anthem. I asked him about work and he talked about how he was working on the Bon dance. O-bon is a huge summer holiday in Japan where the ancestors come down from “heaven” and visit their original homes. The Japanese welcome these spirits and ~~~stuff. The O-bon dance is part of the celebration. The boy is in charge of that part of the summer festival. But he hates the O-bon dance.

He asked if I had ever seen it before and I haven’t, but I have seen other traditional Japanese dances and they are very elegant. He scoffed at this.

Elegant? He said. No no. Not elegant. It’s just them trying to get everyone to do the exact same thing at the same time. It’s not about beauty or elegance it’s about making everyone the same.

I laughed--that’s just so Japan.

At work my boss and Fukuchi-san asked me to go to lunch with them tomorrow so I won’t see the boy again until Saturday.

After work we went out to dinner for Dara’s birthday. We met up at the station and then went to the okonomiyaki place on the other side of Oomoto up by Kameoka High School. We have been there many times but for some reason the service this time was really lacking.

Japan is famous for the service. They are always super polite and do everything to make your visit to their stores/restaurants as pleasant as possible. They take great care when putting your food on your plate and make sure your items are perfect. They even make sure the logo is facing you whenever they hand your purchase over to you. But this time the restaurant was really busy and they weren’t as polite as usual.

First, they made us move. We came in a sat down at a large table. Then before we had the chance to order they asked us to move to the counter because a party with small children was coming. Now, I understand that the kids need an actual table and not a counter…but shouldn’t it be first come first served? I guess that is the difference between America and Japan. (I saw this a few days later at Mister Donuts as well. A couple was asked to move so a couple with children could have their table.)

So we got stuck at the counter in a long line rather than around a table where we could actually talk.
They were busy so they got behind in their orders and didn’t stay to listen to all of our order. They made everyone else’s food and then started on mine rather than start another grill. Which sucked because I was starving…BUT it was delicious. Oh man I love the food there. MMM Okonomiyaki and pork kim-chi and yakisoba.

After dinner they all decided to go to karaoke but jet lag was destroying me so I had to go home. I felt really badly because it was Dara’s birthday but I knew that if I had gone I would have just been a wet blanket because I was so tired.

Getting back into the swing of things

Today was a holiday. Marine Day or something like that. Which is a very good thing because I would never have survived if I had had to go to work today. I was exhausted.

I woke up at 6 am again, even though I didn’t get home last night til nearly 2. Everyone who had stayed at Liz’s last night met up with the rest of us Kameoka JETs at Mister Donuts for some breakfast. Rather than gaijin smash the place, we went and ate breakfast at the moat/pond thing. While I was gone the lotus’ bloomed. It was like when we first arrived last year. Very 懐かしい. I remember the day Laurel and I went and took pictures by the lily pads (lotus pads?) when we were exploring our town for the first time.

Some of the group were heading into Kyoto to play at the arcades. Sometimes I feel like I should go into Kyoto more often but I also just like feeling like I have a real settled life in Kameoka. I don’t have to go all the way to Kyoto to stay at the bars and try to catch the last train in.

After they left we stood around talking. I asked Dara what she wanted to do tomorrow and she looked at me like I was crazy…she had forgotten her own birthday. We decided to do dinner together and then went our separate ways. I didn’t want to go home so I accompanied Dara to Seiyu to see about getting her clothes dry cleaned. I love listening to Dara speak Japanese. She has been here for 9 years now I think and didn’t know any Japanese when she got here. I have studied for 5 but am nowhere near as good as her. I learn a lot from listening to her speak. Plus she gives me the inspiration to work harder and get better at Japanese myself.

I went home after that to make my omiyage for the boy. I wanted to get him a book on Kansas City architecture since he has such interest in that stuff, but I couldn’t find exactly what I was looking for and it was pretty expensive. So instead I downloaded a bunch of songs I had heard on the radio while in America and made a CD of them for him. He is into music and likes different stuff so I figured I would make something with varied genres that would introduce the current trends. Yeah, I know…more Middle School relationshipっぽい stuff. A mixed tape? Oy. But it works (^_^)

Then Dara, Laurel and I hit up McDonalds for dinner. Yeah I know…my first real meal in Japan since coming back from America was McDonalds…you don’t have to say it.

Then we went to taiko. I was exhausted but 頑張る‘d through the exhaustion because we have a performance on Saturday. But going to taiko was really good for me. It really helped me get past the little bit of homesickness that has been lingering since I got back from America. Hanging out with my taiko group helped me feel more at home here. I’m so grateful to have them here. They asked all about America and really enjoyed the Rice Krispy Treats omiyage my parents sent.

So long, Farewell, Sayonara, Good Night

Today was the farewell party for the JETs who did not recontract. I had fallen asleep at about 10 last night because I was just so exhausted from traveling but the jet lag had me up at about 5 am. I unpacked and did a load of laundry and did some other things around the house before I passed out and took a long mid-day nap. The party was scheduled to start around 4 pm but it was pouring rain around then so I didn’t leave immediately when I woke up.

The rainy season in Japan was in full swing and it didn’t seem like the rain would ever stop. So eventually I braved the torrential downpour and arrived at Liz’s apartment looking a bit like a drowned rat. Thankfully I was not alone in this, and it seemed that most of the guests were borrowing Liz’s clothing while theirs dried off in the other room.

It was nice to have so many JETs together. Many of these people I hadn’t seen in months. I don’t know if it is because I am a CIR or because I am living in the safe bubble of Kameoka, surrounded by mountains and well populated with foreigners, but I don’t see other JETs often. Now that we are losing Liz, I may feel more of a pull to leave Kameoka and make deeper friendships elsewhere.

I have known for months that Liz would not be staying a second year, but as the day of her leaving draws nearer and nearer it is becoming more obvious what her leaving will mean. When the year started, there were 5 new JETs in Kameoka. Paulette was our only returnee. Since we all embarked on this adventure together and have struggled with the same things at similar times, and had so many great experiences together, our JET community has become very close. I have always known how lucky we are to be a group that gets along well. Like any group of friends we have our ups and downs, but we all genuinely like each other.
Now one of our group is leaving. Two new people are coming but we don’t know them yet. They are a couple and will therefore spend a lot of time with just each other and I don’t know how they will mesh into our group. I am excited to meet them but they will not be Liz. It adds emphasis to the thoughts already forming in my mind about whether or not I will recontract a second time. I wonder how much my happiness here will depend on the other JETs in town. Paulette probably will not extend her stay past 3 years and Laurel is on the fence. Phil will also probably want to start his tour of Europe while he is still in his early 20s.

How will I feel about Kameoka when my closest friends have moved on?

Anyway, the party itself was a lot of fun. I was very tired but we are a fun group and there were a of stories being told and reminiscing. True to American form (or maybe it is not so much American as it is youth) we wound up watching ridiculous videos on Youtube.

I also got to spend some time with Nelis and his girlfriend Minako. They actually met at the somewhat failed bbq I put on a few months ago. They apparently really hit it off and have been dating now for a couple of months. Apparently things moved very quickly and they became quite serious. Her English is fantastic, much better than my Japanese, so they can talk fairly easily. He did not recontract and is going back to South Africa in a few days. But she is planning to move there in a few months. That’s how serious they are. At first I was skeptical. Is that bad? Am I so jaded that I can’t believe that two people can become so close and so happy in such a short period of time? Well--yes. I am.

But seeing them together--they just seemed so natural. It was obvious that it worked. They convinced me.

Which made me extremely happy for them and not so happy for myself. Because it made me realize that I don’t have that. No matter how many times I say how well things are going with the boy--he and I don’t have the ease and comfort level that Minako and Nelis have. And that is something I need. So--it’s time to do some soul searching to find out if I was interested in the boy simply because of the novelty of it--because he was interested in me-- or if I really like him.

Ugh.

Home is...

Well--I’m back in Japan. I had hoped-fervently hoped-that I would be miserable back at home in the US. As the day to go back to my home country came closer and closer I was getting more and more annoyed with Japan. My thoughts increasingly turned to turkey sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, my car, the plethora of imported beer offered at all bars, open spaces, American TV, etc. All things I took for granted when in America.

I have never spent more than 2 months in Japan until this year so I never really got to a point where I wanted to go home before. Even after being here for 12 months I didn’t really get homesick until I bought my tickets home.

It scared me. I was desperately homesick. I didn’t cry or constantly call home, because this kind of homesick wasn’t so much for the people back home (though I did miss everyone a lot). This was a homesick for my own culture. A culture I couldn’t have defined clearly (and probably still can’t put into words) before spending a year someplace completely different. I longed for the feeling of comfort America provides simply because it is home. I thrive on the adventure of living in Japan, the thrill of the unknown. I live for the little discoveries I make by finding a new dish I like or when I learn new phrases in Japanese. I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I make it through a doctor’s appointment on my own.

But no matter how comfortable I have gotten and no matter how much I love Japan…it isn’t home. It is one of my homes, yes, much like St. Louis became my home away from Kansas City, but it is not my home. And I didn’t realize just how important America was to me until I left it.

July 3rd
I’ll admit, my very first thought upon leaving the plane in San Francisco was “Oh my God the stereotypes are true…American’s are huge.” I had just gotten off a ten hour flight and I was completely overwhelmed. There were all these giants around me speaking a language I completely understood. They were LOUD! They were on their cell phones. They were in huge groups. They were eating while walking through the airport. All things you rarely see in Japan.

But as I rubbed my sleepy eyes (it was nighttime in my head but 10 am in America) my head cleared and it hit me. I was home. Well, almost…I still had several hours to go til I reached my final destination of Kansas City. After dragging my luggage through customs I headed to recheck my bags and check in at Frontier Airlines. Check in was interesting. They wanted me to check in at the machines but for that you needed your reservation number or driver’s license or credit card. Well, I had no reservation number because I had forgotten the information. Some punk in Germany has probably tossed my driver’s license in the trash along with his half eaten bratwurst he bought with the money he stole from me. And as my credit card probably met a fate similar to my driver’s license and I had to use my Dad’s to buy the tickets…I had no means of checking in. I flagged down a lady and suddenly realized--OMG I get to do this in English it will be EASY. And it was.

She got me squared away and I went off in search of a turkey sub. That delicious meat that I was so sick of when I left because it was the only deli meat I hate for so long, that amazing sandwich that no one in Japan has even heard of. And I found it. It was insanely over priced and I handed over the $10 bill that seemed like play money to me because it wasn’t yen and was rewarded with a panini. A turkey panini. I don’t think I can describe the feeling of comfort that a turkey sandwich can provide an ex-pat returning home for the first time. It was amazing.

The flight to Denver was uneventful. I slept through most of it and woke up just as the captain was explaining why we were landing 30 minutes late. There were storms in Denver. I checked my flight info. I only had 20 minutes to get to my connection to Kansas City. Oh no. What if I missed it? How could I survive waiting any longer than I had to to get home? Well…the storms took care of that. My flight to KC was delayed nearly 2 hours.

I met the sweetest people in the airport though. As I was deplaning I found myself next to another KC native in town for a family reunion. He and his wife were meeting their daughter in Denver to travel to KC together. I told them my story. About how I had been traveling for almost 16 hours already. And they “adopted” me. They had me sit with them and shared their magazines and caught me up on American pop culture. It was great to be able to connect with people so easily. People in Japan are extremely nice and accommodating but always keep you at a distance. They are intrigued by my foreignness and like to make small talk but rarely do you get to know them on a personal level. I was overwhelmed and had to leave for a little while. I got some Caribou Coffee (sweet nectar) and walked around for a bit.

Finally it was time to board the plane. After take off I looked out the window and we were flying next to a giant thunderstorm. I remembered how I used to want to be a storm chaser. Ever since a famous storm chaser came to a Brown Bag Lunch for SAGE in elementary school I loved storms. It was scary to be so close to such a giant storm. The sky was dark, as it was nighttime and stormy, and I could see the lightening firing within the cloud only about 40 feet from my window. It was gorgeous.

I slept.

Finally. 到着. Landing. I was home.

I got off the plane and there they were. My parents. I was wide awake now. It was midnight KC time making it 2 pm Japan time. I had boarded the train to the airport 26 hours earlier. But I was home. HOME.

We went to get my checked suitcase and met up with my adopted family. They gave my mom a hug and introduced me to the rest of their extended family. As my parents led me away toward the exit of the airport--the entrance to my home--I was ushered away by the yelled goodbyes of their entire family.

Americans. Only Americans. (^_^)

July 4th
We had a barbeque at my house today for the 4th of July. My Uncle Ron and Aunt Lisa had come to KC to visit since I would be in town. I hadn’t seen Lisa since my sister’s wedding and don’t get to see Ron very often so it was great to have them in town. Jen and Caleb came over too. They brought me a Cherry Limeade Chiller from Sonic. It was amazing. There’s nothing like it in Japan.

Nana and Poppop came over too. Nana braved the heat to visit with me and I really appreciate it. It was great to see them both. I know she was tired but it was just nice to be around everyone. I know that aside from Ron and Lisa they can all get together very easily and when I am in Japan that doesn’t bother me so much because I have my life there, but after seeing them all again I wish I were closer. I miss them.

My Dad made great burgers, as usual, and my Mom remembered my macaroni salad because she is amazing (a lot of the best parts of America were the food. Which is interested because I used to always say that America has no cuisine. American food is just greasy gross food. But that’s not true. America has some great food and I didn’t realize it until I couldn’t get it for a year).

I was really tired (stupid jet lag) but after the barbeque we all went to the casino. Well, Dad doesn’t like casinos so he didn’t go and Jen and Caleb went to Caleb’s parents house. So most of us went.

After losing a bit of my “Monopoly Money” and watching some lemmings jump off a cliff with my uncle Stephen picked me up.

Again…it was like I never left.

First he took me to Taco Bell because I was starving. Yes. Taco Bell. I don’t live in America so don’t judge. Mmmmm nachos and cheesy gordita crunch. Amazing. Americans really know how to do fake Mexican.

Then he took me to Kurt’s for the 4th of July party. It was great to see the boys again. It was weird to be at their new house instead of Jake’s but it was much cleaner (^_^). Thank God for Stephen and Tom though because if they hadn’t been there I would have had a horrible time. As it turns out I had a great time. I was as usual the oldest female present. But I had fun with my friends and ignored everyone I didn’t know.

July 5th
Baseball game. This was when I realized it. I realized just how big an impact living in Japan has had on me. Before every game starts someone sings the national anthem. Everyone stands and puts their hands over their hearts and sings. It never meant anything to me before. Half the time I would barely pay attention. But this time something happened. This time goosebumps popped up all over my body and I couldn’t control the tears that sprang to my eyes.

A few weeks ago I was at lunch with the boy and he mentioned that the Japanese national anthem was written by someone British during the Meiji period (sometime after 1868). But our national anthem, “The Star Spangled Banner” really means something. Either way, it represents my home. And hearing it for the first time in a year really moved me. I have never considered myself unpatriotic but I’m not overly patriotic either. But living in a foreign culture for a year made me appreciate my own culture on a deeper level.

The new stadium is really impressive. I love that you can walk all the way around it. I also love that they serve Smithwicks. I got my traditional frosty malt and my wonderful mother also bought be overpriced nachos.

After the game I met Cary downtown for dinner. He took me to California Pizza Kitchen and laughed as I deliberated painstakingly over the menu. I only had two weeks and I couldn’t waste a single meal. It had to be great. I ended up ordering a salad AND splitting a pizza with Cary AND getting dessert (their red velvet cake is to die for).

Mostly it was just nice to catch up with Cary. I really missed him.


July 6th
Today was Monday. I got my driver’s license back! Oh I have missed driving so much.

I had a dentist appointment and found out I had a cavity (T_T) . Well at least now I am glad I paid to visit the dentist (who was really sweet and charged me half price for my X-rays since I have no American insurance). In Japan they don’t do yearly check ups so I probably wouldn’t have known about the cavity until it had grown really big and I might have needed something more than a tiny filling.

I then had an eye doctor appointment. Yay, my prescription hasn’t changed! Maybe laser surgery someday???

Then went shopping with my mom. Boy did I shop. Never let me near the Express again. Well I needed new work clothes and I NEVER shop for clothes in Japan so it’s ok.

Then I had a laser appointment.

Busy day.

July 7th
We went out to Olathe to have Red Robin for lunch with Jen and Caleb. Oh Bacon Cheeseburger. Giant pile of onion rings. Mmmmmm. Later Mom and I went to the gym. I should have gone several more times but didn’t have time. There were just too many places to go and people to see.

At night we went out to Tomfooleries.

July 8th
I went out with Bryan during the day today. We went to Pizza Street for lunch and then Startbucks for a bit. Then we headed over to Zona Rosa to shop. It was good to see him. He has changed a lot in the last few years and more so during this last one. It’s good to see him be more outgoing and talkative. He used to be so shy…though sometimes I miss the quiet shy Bryan when he is giving me a hard time (^_~)

Today was Tom’s birthday so we all went out to dinner at a BBQ place.



Brittany and I got stuck at the end of the table with Brandon, who continually asked about whether there are lesbians and midgets in Japan (I’m surprised he didn’t ask about lesbian midgets), and Kim and Travis who I never really hung out with and also just got engaged. Thank God for Brittany. I would have gone crazy without her. As I looked around the table I realized one thing….I was the only single girl at the table. Not a bad thing…just a new thing. Sean and Katie just got married. Brittany and Chris are practically engaged. Brian brought his girlfriend. Kim and Travis are engaged.

I’m getting old. All my friends are getting married. I used to think I would be engaged by now. I’m not sad that I’m not. In fact I’m relieved. I’m actually not getting old. I’m only 23.

Anyway after dinner the old married couples went home and the rest of us went to Granfalloon. Stephen bought the obligatory shots for poor Tom who had to work the next day. Claire, Katie, and Jessica Scott showed up too. We played pool for a while and eventually made our way upstairs. Man American bars are huge. It was SO nice to be able to go out with a large group of friends and not be taking up the entire bar. It was also nice to have boys offer to buy you shots.

On a trip to the bathroom I ran into Katie who was talking to a guy from her school. The other guy at the table was one I had noticed from upstairs--not because he was overly good looking but just because he kept walking around near our table. I was actually busy texting someone else at the time. When I went to say hi to Katie this guy looks at me and says…

“You’re real pretty.”

Am I a bad person for laughing? He then got up and walked over to me and told me…

“That girl upstairs, the blonde one, she’s not my girlfriend. She just kissed me because she saw you check me out while you were texting your boyfriend. She was trying to save me.”

Ok…
1. Smooth. Real smooth dude. But more than I get in Japan so I’ll go with it for funsies.
2. I wasn’t checking him out. I just happened to look up at him once.
3. He should get friends less willing to cock block him.

Anyway, I talked to him for awhile and found him rather dull. I laughed as Claire made warning faces at me from across the table. Finally we decided to head back upstairs and Smooth Boy asked if he could come too. I said “whatever.”

Thankfully Stephen and Tom wanted to leave soon after so I escaped after giving out a fake number. It was funny though.


July 9th
Today was my second dentist appointment. By the time I left, my face was numb up to my eyeball…quite an uncomfortable feeling. Mac and cheese for lunch. Yum. I brought about 6 packages of it back to Japan and will have to ration it to make it last 6 months. (let’s see…6 packages and I can only eat half at a time, so I can eat mac and cheese twice a month) sadface.

Went to Jen and Caleb’s for Quesadillas. Seriously, that boy can cook. Good job Jen. It was nice to see them settled in their home (they had just moved when I was home last). They seem really happy. I sometimes wish I were that happy and settled. Less uncertainty in my life could be nice. Grass-is-always-greener syndrome. That’ll come someday. But at least I have some great models of what I want my life to be like.



July 10-12
Float trip day! I planned my trip around this.

I went over to my grandparents for breakfast today. It was perfect. My grandmother makes the best pancakes ever. That’s right…it’s on the internet now so everyone knows…my grandmother makes the best pancakes. Thankfully she was feeling up to cooking because I would have been disappointed if I hadn’t gotten them. I have great memories of breakfast at Nana and Poppop’s from when I was a kid. I never really appreciated it at the time, but I love that I grew up with my grandparents so close by. They used to watch me before I went to school in the mornings and we would play Boggle. On weekends Nana would make pancakes and Poppop would make the pink milk. Memories like that make me not want to live in Japan forever. If I have kids I want them to grow up near their grandparents. Though I seem to have chosen a career path that will make that difficult.



Stephen picked me up at my grandparent’s house since he was driving me to the river.
I was in the back with Brittany and Jessica Velder (who I had just met). She learned a lot about me on that trip though thanks to Stephen. Remind me that in battles with Stephen I tend to lose. Either because he is better at making fun of people than me or because I have more things you can make fun of.

We stopped in Columbia to get some supplies for the trip. It felt strange. I lived there for 3 months or so but it didn’t feel like it. I never spent a full weekend there and barely spent time during the week there. It was just a transition, an escape from St. Louis.

We went to Amanda’s aunt’s for a BBQ and to wait for the others. Claire apparently got lost even though she has been on the float trip at least 3 times. She made it to the Lodge of the Four Seasons at the Lake of the Ozarks before she realized she had gone the wrong way. (^_^)

The float trip is the stuff of legend so I will not bother to recount it here.







On the night of the 11th it started pouring rain so we all hurried to find ways to escape it. At one point we thought a tornado was coming so we sought refuge at the only permanent building around…the bathrooms.

Eventually Tom and I wound up in his truck, Stephen hid in Amanda’s car eating spinach dip, and the other boys went to their tents.

The girls gave up on the idea of camping, which makes sense considering most of their stuff was soaking wet. They all went to sleep at Amanda’s aunt’s house. I stayed to camp with the boys and tried in vain to keep a fire going.

The next day we all cleaned up and headed back to reality (well reality for them, a continuation of vacation for me).

We stopped at Applebee’s on the way back and I again tried to order the entire menu. Nachos for an appetizer and then Brittany and I split pasta and a monterrey wrap.

After getting home I took a long nap before meeting Bryan at the Brass Rail.

July 13th
I spent most of today at the pool with Brittany, Claire, and Sara. We got some pizza and just chilled for a while. There was some water volleyball and other such awesomeness. Afterward I went with my dad to the 75th Street Brewery for some good beer. I had a giant Chicken Fried Chicken with mashed potatoes and green beans.



We tried to go bowling but failed miserably because bowling alleys close early…which is dumb. They could probably make decent money staying open later for all us losers that like to go bowling at night.

So instead we went back to the Brass Rail. Brittany was leaving to go back to Florida the next day so it was kind of like her farewell party.



As we were leaving the Brass Rail Jake and his brother came in. That was--interesting. It was good to see Josh. I hadn’t seen him in a while. I’ve known him since Trevor and I were dating. I remember thinking it was so scandalous when he made out with Melissa Bartlett when we preformed “The Laramie Project” at the International Thespian Conference or whatever in Nebraska. Oh high school.

Actually, hanging out with Stephen, Tom, and Brittany so much lately made me think a lot about high school. Would I go back and change things now? No, probably not. Because I really like where I am in my life now. But in retrospect do I think I should have worked less and played more…yes. Hearing their stories of their times together in high school makes me wish I had taken Stephen up on more of his invites.

After Brass Rail we went to IHOP. Sadly I was not hungry at all…but I was not going to let that stop me. It was my one chance for IHOP so I forced some pancakes, french toast, eggs, sausage and bacon down my gullet. It was delicious but I was quite uncomfortably full after that.

But it was worth it. Man I missed IHOP.

July 14th
During the day Bryan, Erin and I grabbed lunch at Tomfooleries and then shopped a bit around Zona Rosa.

Then I took a long drive. It’s amazing how much you can miss something like driving. It used to be one of the ways I would de-stress. I would just get on the highway and drive until things made sense. But I can’t do that in Japan. So I sent out a text message to a group of friends telling them “Right or Left…Just pick one” and then I went the direction each of them said in the order the responses came in. I didn’t change course until I got a response. I wound up near Smithville Lake. It was beautiful. I never realized just how gorgeous the scenery in Missouri really is. I never really appreciated it. When people in Japan asked me about Missouri I would just say that it’s flat…nothing like the beauty here in Kameoka where we have green covered mountains on all sides. But Missouri offers a completely different style of beauty. It is flat, but with rolling hills. It has so many different colors. It has an openness that makes you feel like you are completely alone for miles and miles and it isn’t a frightening thing. It is an openness that makes you feel completely at peace and at ease. That openness doesn’t exist here.



I went to Sams club and then to visit Nana and Poppop and then to Granite City.

At night, Stephen and I got together and watched Gran Torino. I had heard from the boy that it was a good movie, and he was right. I really enjoyed it. True to form Clint Eastwood made another fantastic, albeit heavy, film. He always goes for the serious themes, but he does them well. I will never be able to watch Million Dollar Baby again, but it was good. His two films on the Pacific War were also spectacularly well done though they made you want to die a little.

July 15th
The last day before my last day. My awesomely awesome mom took me shopping at Oak Park mall where I gave my bank account another work out. It lost weight and I gained weight. My awesomely awesome friends took me to see Harry Potter 6, which was quite disappointing I must say. Maybe it’s because since the last movie I have read the books…but I don’t think so . I have rewatched the other movies since reading the books and still like them. This film was just too choppy. It didn’t flow well.

After the movie we went to get some tacos and margaritas before heading to the bowling alley. This time we actually did go bowling. We had planned on going to Kansas City Power and Light but I realized that rather than going out to loud and busy bars I would rather be in an environment where I could actually hear what my friends were saying. And I like bowling. We always have a good time. The boys skimped out and bought Miller Light for the pitchers though, which made me sad. Too bad they don’t do pitchers of good beer.
Bowling was a blast. It was the perfect way to end a great two weeks with my friends. Though it wasn’t the end.

After bowling we all went back to Stephen’s place and played cards. We all ended up staying up way too late which was ok for all of us without jobs (ie. Everyone except Brian and Tom). I felt really lucky to have friends who would stay up late just to hang out with me on my last day and then face a long day at work.


July 16th
My actual last day. I spent it running errands, sadly. Returning some things I had bought and decided not to keep, buying gifts for people back in Japan, etc. I also drove all the way out to Lees Summit to meet Cary for lunch. We hadn’t met up since the second day after I was in town and I really wanted to see him again before I left.

That ate up most of the day, along with packing and dinner with my mom at Five Guys Burger and Fries.

After that my friends came over to play pool and just hang out. Of course we were all exhausted from the night before but I really appreciated that they came over. I was stressing out about going back to Japan. They stayed until almost midnight when I made them leave…or made myself make them leave…since I needed to be up at 4:30. My flight left KC at 7:00am the next day.

It was hard to say goodbye. I was so happy during my two weeks in the states that I didn’t want it to end. I kept telling myself that it wasn’t reality. That if I actually lived in Missouri it wouldn’t be the same. I would have a job and wouldn’t see these people all the time. My life would be completely different than it had been during these two weeks. I kept telling myself to remember the great things I had in Japan. My job. My friends. My apartment. The opportunity to travel and to do something I really love.

But it’s like I have 2 completely separate lives.

I am a Kansas City girl at heart who is living in Japan.

When I am in Japan I am happy there. I love what I do and I know that it is the right place for me to be. It is where I should be because I am fulfilling my goals and challenging myself.

When I am in America I am at home. I am comfortable. I am surrounded by people I have known for years and who really know me. I understand everything that is said to me and there is no real guessing. I don’t feel lonely ever.

No matter how happy I am in Japan there is one thing I cannot escape…sometimes I feel incredibly lonely. I have great friends but they are new friends who don’t always understand my ups and downs or the way I think and act. Making Japanese friends is difficult and takes a lot of effort, and the language barrier makes it difficult to form meaningful relationships. So sometimes I just miss the ease of companionship in the US.

So leaving the comfort of home was difficult.

July 17th/18th (time change)
I wasn’t excited about coming back to Japan until I reached San Francisco. I cried when my parents disappeared from my view after I went through security at my gate. I slept from KC to Denver and Denver to San Francisco. But as I waited in line to check in at United in San Francisco a familiar sound reached my ears…
日本語だった。
Japanese.

Japanese people were all around me. And that was when I realized I had missed it. I had missed Japan. I had missed Japanese. I would miss America, but I was at least somewhat happy to be returning to Japan.

My friends and family made my trip home so amazing--so perfect--that I didn’t want to return to my real life. I had hoped that my trip to America would reaffirm my love of Japan and completely wipe out any sense of homesickness. If anything it made me more homesick. It made me realize just what I was missing by not living in America. But it also reminded me of why I was in Japan. Returning to Japan after a two week hiatus, returning to my job and my apartment and my life here helped me remember why I came here in the first place and just how much I have to accomplish before I am ready to settle somewhere, whether that be in the US or in Japan.

Thomas Wolfe said you can't go home again. Thankfully, it seems, I can. Or maybe it's just that in reality I never leave because no matter where I am I'm home.

T-1 day to America! (actually 2 days if you count the time change (T_T) )

Today a few things were noteworthy. First, I should make a point that right now all I can think of is that two days from now I will be on a plane heading home. All I want is to be home. Everything about Japan is annoying me right now. This is a natural part of the cycle of culture shock (gag me) but it still sucks.

I don’t understand why they can’t turn the air conditioning on just before people arrive at the office. For crying out loud…we have the largest number of workers of any building in Kameoka, why are you trying to melt us? Are you trying to drown the town in a flood of sweat? Ugh.

I don’t understand why people feel like they need to give me free food when I go to the café (this is a nice thing, I know, but sometimes I’m not hungry for Fried Shrimp after I have already eaten my giant bowl of curry and yet I then have to eat it because the nice man gave it to me because he was excited to see a foreigner.) Seriously?

I don’t understand why apartments aren’t insulated and don’t have central heat or air. Seriously. It is worse walking into my apartment than it is staying outside.

I don’t understand why I can’t walk into a store without having “Welcome!” yelled at me by EVERY WORKER PRESENT and I can’t leave without them all yelling “Thanks!” “Come back again!” (though I think I’ll miss this while I’m home).

Etc.

Anyway. I do love Japan. I just need a break. I need to return to a world where I can understand all the words spoken to me. My Japanese has improved leaps and bounds but I still don’t understand everything and some days I just don’t wanna hear Japanese.

I think the trip home will be really good for me. I’ll get refreshed…remember why I love Japan and then come back. That’s what I’m hoping for anyway. I’m only a tiny bit worried that I won’t want to come back…But I’m happy here so I don’t think it’s an issue.

So today at work nothing huge happened. After lunch I went to the Reuse Party with Kojima-san. It is basically this event where a whole bunch of old ladies get together to sell each other their old clothes at a really cheap price. And they try to get me to buy some too. Well…I don’t wear grandma clothes. But they keep telling me: “Oh this would look so cute on you! You need this!” So I inevitably buy some hideous shirt and then use it as a dust cloth or something.

Today was no different. Though what they made me buy this time was nice. I ended up buying a gorgeous set of bowls and chopsticks. If I ever invite people over….yeah right…I can serve them things in there.

After the women stopped trying to force their clothing on me (it is really funny to watch them though…they are very blunt… They will actually say “no that looks like crap on you.”), we sat around and had some tea. Here is where I got a huge surprise.

I knew that in the past the Japanese practiced Omiai, or “arranged marriages.” Older women would show pictures of young women to prospective suitors and vice-versa. But I was under the impression that this was not something they did anymore. They still rely a lot on introductions in order to meet people but not through the traditional Omiai process…Apparently I was wrong because this one woman pulled out an envelope and gave it to another and said: “Show this to your daughter.”

Inside was a guy’s picture and a short message about him!

I really just wanted to go home. I was tired. I had a date with the boy I needed to get ready for. I wasn’t done packing. And I had to pee. And those darn women would not shut up. They just kept babbling about random crap and I couldn’t understand all of it and I wanted to SCREAM!

Finally we left and then Kojima-san decided to take the long way home to show me the scenery (trying to make sure I wanted to come back? I dunno)

When I got home I had enough time to pack just a little before the boy called. Apparently he worked really hard to get done by 5:15 so that we could make it to the play on time.

As Japanese is a fairly vague language I was fairly sure we were going to a play....but wasn't 100% sure so I tried to dress middle ground. Going to the theater in the states usually involves dressing up...not so in Japan. The boy was wearing jeans and I felt like a tool in my nice clothes.

We made the train on time and grabbed the two available seats, even though they were priority seats...I feel like cross-cultural dating is enough of a handi-cap to allow it (^_~) and spent a lot of the ride talking about what I want to do when I get to America and making fun of the foreigners who sat across from us and couldn't open an onigiri.

Apparently me and the boy are not nice people.

We made it to the theater just before the curtain rose. I have to say, I was really impressed that he had bought tickets in advance without knowing if he could actually get off work in time to go see the show. Especially since he has never seen a musical and won't know if he likes it.

I actually found out that he hasn't even seen the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast so for him the whole thing was brand new. Thankfully the show was in Japanese so he could understand it and it followed the movie almost exactly so I always knew what was going on.

Personally I really enjoyed the show. But I like musicals. The costuming was really intricate and they paid a lot of attention to details. Throughout the show each character became more and more like the inanimate object they represented so small costume details kept changing. Set-wise it felt like the cartoon. I was impressed with their method of showing movement when the father was traveling in the woods. The "Be Our Guest" scene completely blew me away with the intricacy of the platforms. I wasn't surprised that the had to shut the main curtain to set it up but I thought it was done in a manner that wasn't disruptive to the flow of the show. But I am always sad when watching shows nowadays when everything is electronic...it makes me nostalgic for my high school days when we had to carry everything on ourselves and move the revolving stage on our own.

I don't think he really enjoyed the show itself but he seemed to enjoy laughing at me enjoying it. I think for him it was a bit too unrealistic...but I think he had fun nonetheless.

At the end of the show there was the usual 15 minute applause session where the cast bow individually and then together an uncountable number of times...and the Japanese take this to an extreme. First of all, they all clap in sync with the music. The main characters bow together at least 4 or 5 times, complete with curtain closing and opening, closing and opening, closing and opening, closing and opening...

I just kept laughing because the boy looked surprised every time. Then again after time number 3 I was surprised too.

After the show we were about to head home til we both realized we were starving since we hadn't eaten dinner yet in order to make it to the show on time. All restaurants in Kameoka would be closed so we stayed near Kyoto station and tried to find someplace open. The best option was an okonomiyaki place.

I got some black sesame yakisoba, since I had never seen it before, and we split that and an okonomiyaki.

We caught the train before the last train home and both tried not to fall asleep. I still had to pack...since I am leaving immediately after work tomorrow.

On the walk back to my apartment he got really quiet...

Me: "What's wrong?"

Atsushi: "Oh I'm just thinking...about how the next two weeks are going to be pretty lonely."

Me: Awkward laughter as I have no idea how to do this in Japanese "Well I'll be back in 2 weeks"

Atsushi: "Yeah. But since I moved to Kameoka, all my best times have been with you."

Me: "A lot of my great times have been with you..."

and awkwardness. Because that is what I do. I make really cute, very good situations awkward. It's a talent. Really. I can ruin anything good. How have I had three long term relationships? I have no idea.

So we get to my place and he asks to borrow more Friends disks while I'm gone.

Wait...did he just invite himself up to my place? I was totally gonna offer him more disks but he beat me to it...

He follows me up and hesitates at the door after I walk in...

God Japanese people are so weird. Just come inside. I know you won't come past the place where we leave our shoes but at least come in the door.

So I go get the DVDs and come back. After I hand them over we just sort of stand there awkwardly...

This is when I should have been an American girl and kissed him or hugged him or done something...but I didn't. And he didn't.

Seriously...that is frustrating. Man up!

So it was just awkward when after a little bit of us talking awkwardly in my entryway he slowly opened the door and left. With a "see you in 2 weeks. have fun be careful."

I'll never figure this out. It's starting to not be cute anymore.