It is the ultimate shame for a man not to eat food that is placed before him

I think I have a new favorite saying in Japanese.

据え膳食わぬは男の恥。

The Boy came over for dinner tonight. After we finished eating he looked at me for a moment, like he wanted to say something but didn't know how. Finally he started off with:

TB: "So, I think I should talk to you about something."
Me: Ok

TB: So, if, hypothetically, I weren't going with you to Aomori next week, would you still be staying the night at your friend Nick's apartment? Or would you stay at a hotel?

Me: I would stay at Nick's. Free lodging. Just makes sense.

TB: Hmmm. A Japanese woman would never do that.

Me: I'm not Japanese.

TB: No I know that. I know that. But you should know that in Japan if you stay at a guys apartment over night it is basically the same as telling him you are willing to sleep with him.

Me: Wha? (^o^)?

TB: Yeah. Have you ever heard the Japanese phrase 据え膳食わぬは男の恥。? It is a man's shame not to eat food set before him. In other words: It is shameful for a man to turn down a woman who offers herself. If you were to stay at a Japanese guys place he would think you were interested. If another guy heard that you stayed at my place, for example, and I didn't try anything, they would make fun of me.

Me: Ok, it's not like that in America. My friends know that they are my friends and that my staying over means nothing more than that I needed a place to stay. So, wait, you're saying you don't approve?

TB: No no no. I'm just saying you shouldn't advertise that you would stay at a guys house.

--
Apparently even hugging is an invitation. If you hug a guy in Japan it means you like him like him. The Boy was explaining that he felt really awkward yesterday when I hugged my friend Matt. He didn't mind and would get used to it, but it was weird for him because there is distance between Japanese men and women. They do not hug. They are not friends. They only interact in groups or as couples. Not as friends. So to him, the concept of me staying at a guys apartment is bit foreign.

Thankfully he didn't say that I couldn't. Because that would have made me really angry and probably caused our first fight.

I did actually take the time to explain that to him though. I told him that if he ever disagrees with something I do, he should tell me that it makes him uncomfortable and I probably won't do it. If he tells me I can't, then I'll get angry, but if he says it is weird for him, then I will compromise.