Innu Engrishu? Why I sometimes want to hide from the world.

Today was a lazy Sunday. The Boy had to work for the election and I decided to spend the day getting some studying done.

My favorite place to study lately has been Mister Donuts, a coffee/donut shop where they give you unlimited free refills on coffee. I will go sit there for a few hours and study while making the most of the 220 yen I spend on coffee. Plus their coffee is way better than the instant crap I make at home...

So today I brought a couple of books and my computer and sat at my usual table and got to work. I put on some Josh Groban and started up. I looked up at one point and noticed someone I knew. He is the head of the travel information office at the train station and I went to work help him determine the English ability of a few applicants for part-time positions. He is a really sweet guy but I didn't really want to be bothered so I tried to play the "don't look up maybe he won't notice me game."

I lost.

He and his companion sat down next to me and Fujimura-kyokutyou started up a conversation with me. It ended up being quite enjoyable but still...

He introduced me to his friend. When his friend found out who I am, he became very excited.

Him: "Wait, this honorable person is Margaret? The Margaret? The famous Margaret?"
Fujimura: "Yes, she works at city hall."
Me: "Nice to meet you...wait, famous? Me?"
Him: "Oh yes. So many people in this area know who you are. You are very well known."

Well crap. See, I'm not making it up. I really can't go anywhere without being noticed.

So we chatted for a bit til they left. I thought I was in the clear. Put my headphones back in and set back to reading.

As I am reading, a finger appears in front of my eyes, and I hear a muffled voice near me. "Oh. Innu Engrishu."

I couldn't quite hear over the music coming through my headphones but somehow my brain made the connection. There was a new person sitting next to me and he was speaking. He was asking if my book was written in English.

I pop out one headphone, smile and nod, and say "Yes, in English"

I turn back to my book and put my headphone back in.
But I was too late.
He started talking before I could get the headphone into my ear.

And he didn't stop talking for 2 hours.

The lonely old toothless man was delighted at the opportunity to speak English and he was not going to give up his chance. He only had an iced coffee so I figured I could humor him for 20 minutes til he finished and left...but as I stared at the drink, praying that he would take another sip soon and bring me a little bit closer to freedom...the amount inside it didn't change.

At first I was responsive. I talked with him about how computer screens nowadays really are so much prettier than old ones and how the young golf player Ishikawa really is incredible.

I even acted sympathetic when he told me about his recent doctors visits and how he can not drink alcohol anymore because of his swollen legs. I even forced myself to look at his red splotchy legs legs when he showed them to me.

All I wanted to do was sit with my coffee and get some studying done, but this guy turned me into an English conversation partner.

His English was pretty difficult to understand, and he mostly just mumbled. I would have been ok if he had wanted to talk a little bit, but 2 hours? I just wanted to study. But I couldn't bring myself to yell at this poor little old man. I couldn't tell him to leave me alone. So I just sat there hoping he would leave.

Finally he looked at his watch and realized he had been there talking at me in broken English for 2 hours and he started to get ready to leave. But before he left, he pulled out an envelope from Kyoto Bank. On the back of it he wrote his name and his cell phone email address.

And his wife's name and her email address.

And his son's name and his telephone number.

And he said I should call him sometime and he would take me around Kyoto.

After asking me how to write my name, he slowly got up and hobbled out of the Mister Donuts, finally leaving me to study.